her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
