The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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