very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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