I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
