did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
