I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
He has the fingertips of a God
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