"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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