I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
