I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
