Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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