Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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