dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Randomize
