cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
