i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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