bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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