id be glad to
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
