Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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