thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Randomize
