No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
