Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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