my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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