would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
