we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
