my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
