But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
