it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
