things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
