bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
