Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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