Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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