so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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