I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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