Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
