I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
COCAINE IS GR8
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