btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
