I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize