hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
