I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize