Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize