I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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