I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I would fuck him just for his dog
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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