i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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