can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I am naked and annoyed.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
