no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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