Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
