I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
