the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
