i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
How external is "for external use only"?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
