i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
i need some magic done to my vagina
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
