his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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