He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
