I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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