I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
