Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm too high and old for this...
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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