It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
