Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
