i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
