I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
