found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Randomize
